alex kimmell
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perfct

11/14/2012

5 Comments

 
Picture
just a little off the top
all of these writers posting word counts. 2,433 in a day. 1,215
in an hour. 50,000 in a month. good for them. seriously. i mean it. it’s fucking impressive. i can possibly get a couple of hundred out of me on a good day. 

any of you word burners got any advice for me? am i simply being
too persnickety about what I’m trying to say? if i allow the crap to flow from my head to my fingers and stain the keyboard, it’ll certainly increase my numbers. my problem is letting go of phrases before they look and sound at least pretty damn close to correct. i white knuckle every syllable consonant vowel quotation mark and period. 

by no means is this to say that faster equals lesser quality. Mozart, Pollack, Picasso and King are but a small handful of masters known to
have worked with lightning speed and created some of the more indelible art in history. i am sincerely in awe of those that can create more rapidly than myself. 

as a former jazz musician, you’d think I could rely on my improvisational tools and my intuition as a guide. the difference is while playing improvised music, the moment comes and then it’s gone. the only time it
ever returns is if the music is recorded. even in that circumstance, much of the feeling and spontaneity is stripped away, leaving black and white carbon copied playbacks paling in comparison to the vibrant three dimensional presence of the moment itself.


writing leaves every nuance bare. stark naked on the page.



vulnerable and permanent with every keystroke.



the moment letters are pressed into the keyboard, my second guessing begins. is this the best way to say that? would he really feel this about her? does the story need to go in this direction? getting out of my own way to allow the ideas to spill out is my most difficult challenge. finding an opening, a chink or two in my armor to wedge my way out of.

 at this point in writing, i’ve already gone back over the preceding paragraphs and made changes three times.  part of me knows that i should let it all come out, put every idea down on “paper” and then review everything after it’s a complete piece.

nope.

can’t do it.

the oppressive forces of revisionism dominate my thoughts and control my fingers as they hunt and peck. i interrupt my own flow pulling back on the record, scratching the music. only not in that good DJ Shadow way. 

now I have deadlines. stories that need to be written, edited, revised and completed within specified time frames. it’s almost noon now. i gave the neighbor’s dog his medicine. dishes are washed, garbage thrown out, recycling done, showered, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, phone calls, emails, facebook, twitters, music chosen, didn’t like it so another choice made…now i’m here sitting at my computer terrified that I don’t have the capacity to accomplish anything worthwhile.

 so I choose to write this blog instead of work on any of the umpteen projects I need to bite chunks out of asap. did I mention that I just went back to review the paragraph above? just now I did. yup. can’t even get out of my when trying to tell you all that i have a problem of getting out of my own way. too cool for school y’all. that’s me.

my wife reminded me of a phrase my dad used to say all the time,

"Perfect is the enemy of Done."

wish me luck!

-a
 
5 Comments
Terry Persun link
11/14/2012 04:13:28 am

Well, I think we all have our own habits as long as they don't get in the way so much that nothing gets produced. I do agree with your dad some, though. Writing is never perfect. Like your jazz playing. Once it's down on the page you find all different ways it could be done...and so does everyone else. That's why editors are continually trying to push your creative work in a different direction, a direction they would go. But, where are you going? What's important to you? I'd say (if asked) find your own way and you'll have found "the" way.

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Andrew F. Butters link
11/14/2012 04:58:13 am

I started writing in earnest last November as part of NaNoWriMo and the wheels fell off after 20k words. I didn't do much writing until this year, and now I'm on fire (if being 200 words ahead of the pace can be considered on fire). Coming to terms with the fact that it's going to suck is still a struggle, but that's how I manage to get it done. Accept that it's going to suck the first time. Be OK with it. Tell yourself that it is OK. I'll go over it later, with a clear head and a different perspective and I'll massage it, mould it and shape it, make ordinary voices sing... Later though. Right now I just need to get all the words in one spot before I lose them. Some won't make it, and that's unfortunate, but that's also the life of a word. Evolution is a right proper asshole when it comes to words.

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Tess Hardwick link
11/14/2012 05:38:00 am

Alex,
I struggle with this too - the idea of letting your first draft be shitty, though, is something of value to me - because, I too, am a perfectionist with each word and sentence. I've found it is better to write fast and furious some days just to get it splashed on the page and that the magic comes in revision. However, I don't see anything wrong with working slowly. We all have our own methods. You are an amazing writer - how you get there doesn't really matter.

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Andrew F. Butters link
11/14/2012 07:22:26 am

What she said (have I mentioned I like you?)
I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who has yet to finish writing any draft of anything. For me, just getting the words out will be my greatest accomplishment. For NaNoWriMo, where you're on the clock, I'm finding that taking a massive word dump on the page works wonders. When I blog I take the slow and steady approach and massage and word-smith each paragraph as I go. If you look at the frequency of my blog posts you'll see what impact this has. To each their own I guess. Give different methods a solid try (not just once!) and go with what feels right. See? I just re-stated what Tess wrote using twice as many words. I love NaNo.

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February Grace link
11/15/2012 04:38:34 am

November is the only time that I allow myself to throw off the harness and just write as fast as I possibly can.

My inner editor still tries to sneak in and I find myself revising as I go (which in the spirit of NaNo you're not really supposed to do, so I try not to). It is not unusual for me to write 50K words in the first ten to twelve days of NaNo, then I slow down generally because either my eyes cry foul or something else with my health comes up. Last year my health was so bad I missed goal by 14k words but since I was participating as a 'rebel' and working to finish an existing book, it was still a huge success for me personally.

NaNoWriMo gives me the goal of writing and not looking back for awhile, and without it I doubt I would ever have completed a novel, because I would never have learned how to let go and then later on finally call something 'done'.

It took almost two years in total for me to write/revise/rewrite my novel for publication. It did start out as a NaNo project but it certainly took more than NaNo to get it ready for the public.

I think that the biggest misunderstanding a lot of people have about NaNo is that participants are writers who are perfectly okay with writing 'crap' and expect to have a finished manuscript after thirty days.

I never want to write 'crap' even if I'm writing at Warp speed but of course some of it will be. It would still be if I wrote slowly. First drafts are first drafts, period.

It's only time and distance, letting the manuscript sit a good long while before you attack it with the red pen, and being willing to fix what works, toss what doesn't, and finally get to a point where you can live with it on the page before it's a finished novel.

Sounds to me like the process all writers go through...we just do it at varying rates of speed for our first drafts, and there is nothing wrong with that. I'll always be grateful to NaNo for giving me wings. It is a special time that only comes once a year, like a holiday, and to me it is something to celebrate.

~bru

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