empty infinity

Robert Fludd’s 1617 Utriusque Cosmi Maioris scilicet et Minoris Metaphysica, Physica, atque Technica Historia

Not much daylight left. I’m still sweating mid day sun rivulets. The wind stopped. It’s hiding from what comes after the sky goes dark like everything else is. Everything but me of course. I’ve never been afraid of the dark. More rational that most little kids, I knew the only things hiding in the blackness were created by my imagination. The scraping noises under my bed? My cat Taffy chasing after dust bunnies or cleaning herself after a long day of napping on the couch arm by the living room window. My brother Ben wore headphones after nine o’clock. The buzz of distorted guitars and thud thud thudding of speed metal drums found a way through cracks in the walls into my room anyway. Brittle and sharp as tacks, all low end stripped away they imitated the sound of miniature demons knocking against the wall demanding entrance into my dreams and a finger hold on my young soul. Fortunately for me I knew the songs. I dreamed of playing along with the bands on stage in front of thronging crowds of hellions unable to breach the security gates manned by flaming sword wielding protection angels. Out here the gates are overwhelmed. The songs are unfamiliar allowing more than shreds of doubt to enter my panicked mind. If there were anyone or anything else nearby to hold for comfort, I couldn’t see them through the emptiness on all sides. One step leads to another. With each footfall I anticipate landing on nothingness. Falling into some vacant space with an infinity of empty. “Get it over with.” I whisper through chattering teeth. I’d much rather feel the razor edged teeth than reside in this anticipation of unknown until the sky illuminates into morning. There are no stars. The moon is in hiding too. Time refuses measurement here. Who knows when dawn might come, or if it will come again at all? One step leads before another. I have yet to fall. Or am I falling now?


a.m.k.
3.24.15