1 - “I am the most selfless person you know. Wait until the apocalypse, you’ll see.”
2 - “Apparently you’re the most modest too.”
3 - “Whatever man.”
1 - “You guys are the selfish ones. Seriously, look at this society. Soccer moms in yoga pants and belly cut tank tops. Roided lunks wearing their mesh t-shirts showing off six pack abs and spandex shorts so tight they leave no mystery if they’re Jewish or not. Going to the gym…” He held up quotation fingers. “‘to work on yourselves.’ Go ahead and chisel and sculpt your perfect body. Not me. No way. I’m already in shape.”
2 - “Yeah. Round.”
1 - “Round is a shape motherfucker.”
2 and 3 laughed at 1.
3 - “You’re insane.”
1 - “Not gonna get any argument about that my friend.” He shoved a large handful of nachos into his mouth, spitting half chewed shards of chips and cheese while he talked. “If something is crazy doesn’t mean it ain’t true though.”
1 took his time staring fiercely 2 and 3 in the eye.
1 - “What’s more crazy, sacrificing yourself to save friends and family or doing a forty five minute steam-spin class and a thousand crunches?”
2 - “I think it’s crazy to really believe the apocalypse is going to happen. Besides, do really think that there’s something wrong with staying healthy?”
1 - “I never said that. What I said was it’s selfish.”
3 - “Get off it man. You’re judging on appearances because of…”
1 - “Because of what?”
3 - “Nothing. Forget it.”
1 - “Because I’m fat? Like it’s a surprise to me. I’m not an idiot. I have seen myself in a mirror and shopped for clothes you know.”
3 - “I just don’t see what the big deal is man.”
1 - “Ever tried finding size forty-four pants at American Apparel?”
2 - “So shop somewhere else. I don’t go there either.”
1 - “Because everything at the Big & Large store is so Vogue cover worthy.” 1 pulled the shirt away from his belly. “Fat people are the last members of society that it’s okay to discriminate against.”
2 - “You watch way to many movies dude.”
3 - “Nobody’s discriminating against fat people.”
1 - “No?” He wipes his mouth and gently folds the corners of his napkin before placing it daintily on the table beside his plate. “Hollywood, magazines, high school, college, elementary and kindergarten.”
3 - “Waiting for a point.”
1 - “What’s the one thing in common with all of these institutions?” 1 points a finger at 3. “Every single 1 of them hates fat people. The instant someone appears who is even slightly larger than some randomly decided upon acceptable size, everyone else in society has a green light to pounce on them. They are made fun of, beat up and discarded. Doesn’t matter how intelligent they are, their ideas will either be dismissed or stolen by some1 attractive enough to be worthy of contributing.”
2 - “You have got some serious issues my friend.” 2 shook his head. “No attractive people are ever made fun of, humiliated or have their ideas ripped off? It’s not even worth arguing about man. Your head ain't right.”
1 - “My head is just fine thank you very much.”
3 - “Sure.” 3 shook his head dismissively.
1 - “You guys ever wonder why I never have a girlfriend?”
2 - “No. I don’t have to wonder.” 2 laughed.
1 - “Why not?”
2 - “Well, first off you’re rude.” 2 counted on his fingers. “You’re also a slob, you have a shit job, you live with your parents, you refuse to cut off that ugly ass pony tail…”
1 - 1 breaks in before he can list any more. “And I’m huge.”
3 - “He didn’t say that.” 3 interrupts.
1 - “He was going to.”
2 - “No.” 2 frowns. “I wasn’t going to.”
1 - “Right.” 1 folds his arms defensively across his chest. “I’m sure you weren’t”
The 3 sat in silence for a long while. The only sounds coming from other tables conversations and the scraping of silverware across plates.
1 - “We have a triple standard in our society.” 1 spoke silently to his empty plate. “We objectify women and hold them to impossibilities of how they are supposed to look and behave.” A tear slipped to the end of his large nose, hung from the spot and wobbled as he talked. “But men? Nobody ever seems to notice that unless we’re wealthy or aggressively successful in business or sports, we big guys are treated as less than human. I get laughed at every day. Kids on the street make pig noises at me when I walk by. Have you ever had some1 throw food at you from a moving car?” 1 looked from his plate to 2 and 3 sitting in stunned silence. “I didn’t think so. I’ve been pushed and punched and kicked and treated like an animal since preschool.” 1 held up a hand to stop his friends from speaking. “I’ve tried to lose weight. I’ve thought abut surgery. It took me until I hit thirty to realize that this is the way I am. I don’t pig out or binge eat. I’m fat.” 1 patted himself on the belly. “So I await the inevitable. When the end comes, I will sacrifice myself. For you.”
As if on cue, there was screaming heard from the street outside. A crowd of terrified people stumbled past to the east. Some with torn shirts. Others noses bloodied and skin of hands covered in dripping black ooze.
1 - “Get behind me.” 1 grinned. Satisfied and ready for his moment. “Now!”
1 strode to the door with confident steps. He gripped the handle with both hands and pushed. The screams from outside rushed into the restaurant piercing their nightmare blades into the ears of 2, 3 and the other table’s full of patrons. 1 shifted his face slightly over his shoulder to his friends for the final time.
1 - “I got this now. Run!”
1 left the door open and pushed his way to the center of the raging throng. 2 and 3 ran to the end of the street looking back and for between exchanging horrified glances. Before turning left at the corner, each looked back at 1. His fists pounding into expressionless faces of indescribable nature. Talons dug through his skin. Tentacles overlapping around his body, squeezing. 1 ripped at the green flesh throwing ragged tears into the air. An enormous mouth rowed with bladed teeth opened above him. A spray of gray liquid rained down turning 1 to a person shaped blaze of green flames. Still, his hands punched, grabbed, ripped, smacked. One leg thrust forward to kick before being removes by the beast’s jaw clamping shut above the knee. 1 laughed. 2 and 3 turned the corner and fled toward safety.
a.m.k.
3.3.15
2 - “Apparently you’re the most modest too.”
3 - “Whatever man.”
1 - “You guys are the selfish ones. Seriously, look at this society. Soccer moms in yoga pants and belly cut tank tops. Roided lunks wearing their mesh t-shirts showing off six pack abs and spandex shorts so tight they leave no mystery if they’re Jewish or not. Going to the gym…” He held up quotation fingers. “‘to work on yourselves.’ Go ahead and chisel and sculpt your perfect body. Not me. No way. I’m already in shape.”
2 - “Yeah. Round.”
1 - “Round is a shape motherfucker.”
2 and 3 laughed at 1.
3 - “You’re insane.”
1 - “Not gonna get any argument about that my friend.” He shoved a large handful of nachos into his mouth, spitting half chewed shards of chips and cheese while he talked. “If something is crazy doesn’t mean it ain’t true though.”
1 took his time staring fiercely 2 and 3 in the eye.
1 - “What’s more crazy, sacrificing yourself to save friends and family or doing a forty five minute steam-spin class and a thousand crunches?”
2 - “I think it’s crazy to really believe the apocalypse is going to happen. Besides, do really think that there’s something wrong with staying healthy?”
1 - “I never said that. What I said was it’s selfish.”
3 - “Get off it man. You’re judging on appearances because of…”
1 - “Because of what?”
3 - “Nothing. Forget it.”
1 - “Because I’m fat? Like it’s a surprise to me. I’m not an idiot. I have seen myself in a mirror and shopped for clothes you know.”
3 - “I just don’t see what the big deal is man.”
1 - “Ever tried finding size forty-four pants at American Apparel?”
2 - “So shop somewhere else. I don’t go there either.”
1 - “Because everything at the Big & Large store is so Vogue cover worthy.” 1 pulled the shirt away from his belly. “Fat people are the last members of society that it’s okay to discriminate against.”
2 - “You watch way to many movies dude.”
3 - “Nobody’s discriminating against fat people.”
1 - “No?” He wipes his mouth and gently folds the corners of his napkin before placing it daintily on the table beside his plate. “Hollywood, magazines, high school, college, elementary and kindergarten.”
3 - “Waiting for a point.”
1 - “What’s the one thing in common with all of these institutions?” 1 points a finger at 3. “Every single 1 of them hates fat people. The instant someone appears who is even slightly larger than some randomly decided upon acceptable size, everyone else in society has a green light to pounce on them. They are made fun of, beat up and discarded. Doesn’t matter how intelligent they are, their ideas will either be dismissed or stolen by some1 attractive enough to be worthy of contributing.”
2 - “You have got some serious issues my friend.” 2 shook his head. “No attractive people are ever made fun of, humiliated or have their ideas ripped off? It’s not even worth arguing about man. Your head ain't right.”
1 - “My head is just fine thank you very much.”
3 - “Sure.” 3 shook his head dismissively.
1 - “You guys ever wonder why I never have a girlfriend?”
2 - “No. I don’t have to wonder.” 2 laughed.
1 - “Why not?”
2 - “Well, first off you’re rude.” 2 counted on his fingers. “You’re also a slob, you have a shit job, you live with your parents, you refuse to cut off that ugly ass pony tail…”
1 - 1 breaks in before he can list any more. “And I’m huge.”
3 - “He didn’t say that.” 3 interrupts.
1 - “He was going to.”
2 - “No.” 2 frowns. “I wasn’t going to.”
1 - “Right.” 1 folds his arms defensively across his chest. “I’m sure you weren’t”
The 3 sat in silence for a long while. The only sounds coming from other tables conversations and the scraping of silverware across plates.
1 - “We have a triple standard in our society.” 1 spoke silently to his empty plate. “We objectify women and hold them to impossibilities of how they are supposed to look and behave.” A tear slipped to the end of his large nose, hung from the spot and wobbled as he talked. “But men? Nobody ever seems to notice that unless we’re wealthy or aggressively successful in business or sports, we big guys are treated as less than human. I get laughed at every day. Kids on the street make pig noises at me when I walk by. Have you ever had some1 throw food at you from a moving car?” 1 looked from his plate to 2 and 3 sitting in stunned silence. “I didn’t think so. I’ve been pushed and punched and kicked and treated like an animal since preschool.” 1 held up a hand to stop his friends from speaking. “I’ve tried to lose weight. I’ve thought abut surgery. It took me until I hit thirty to realize that this is the way I am. I don’t pig out or binge eat. I’m fat.” 1 patted himself on the belly. “So I await the inevitable. When the end comes, I will sacrifice myself. For you.”
As if on cue, there was screaming heard from the street outside. A crowd of terrified people stumbled past to the east. Some with torn shirts. Others noses bloodied and skin of hands covered in dripping black ooze.
1 - “Get behind me.” 1 grinned. Satisfied and ready for his moment. “Now!”
1 strode to the door with confident steps. He gripped the handle with both hands and pushed. The screams from outside rushed into the restaurant piercing their nightmare blades into the ears of 2, 3 and the other table’s full of patrons. 1 shifted his face slightly over his shoulder to his friends for the final time.
1 - “I got this now. Run!”
1 left the door open and pushed his way to the center of the raging throng. 2 and 3 ran to the end of the street looking back and for between exchanging horrified glances. Before turning left at the corner, each looked back at 1. His fists pounding into expressionless faces of indescribable nature. Talons dug through his skin. Tentacles overlapping around his body, squeezing. 1 ripped at the green flesh throwing ragged tears into the air. An enormous mouth rowed with bladed teeth opened above him. A spray of gray liquid rained down turning 1 to a person shaped blaze of green flames. Still, his hands punched, grabbed, ripped, smacked. One leg thrust forward to kick before being removes by the beast’s jaw clamping shut above the knee. 1 laughed. 2 and 3 turned the corner and fled toward safety.
a.m.k.
3.3.15
RSS Feed
